Awareness of who we are and why is one of the most powerful tools I have learned and helped others see through my coaching. Awareness is the first discipline of 10 in the CORE dynamics series of self-development and mastery. Awareness is like knowledge. It is knowledge of ourselves and who we are at the core. So how does one gain awareness? It is through a series of questions and self-reflection. It could come to us through meditations or reflecting and having a conversation with people who will actively listen and not push their advice on you.
For example, I like to have things organized, and I really dislike clutter in my home, and I have to admit sometimes even in spaces that aren’t my own. That’s how sensitive I can be to it. It has gotten better over time but before I gave space to the feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations messy spaces and clutter gave me, I would react very negatively. I would give exaggerated sighs, demanding for things to be picked up, and if I did it myself, I was most certainly frustrated and annoyed to say the least. Once I gave space to my awareness of why I disliked clutter and disorganization I was able to have more peace with it.
Here is a quick story about me and how my awareness changed. I have always been quite organized all my life but as a kid I was also given chores to clean the house on the weekend. Every Saturday we had to clean the house before we were allowed to go have fun! As a kid this task seems like it will never be done. My mom was also meticulous in keeping a messy free home. She also made our beds every day and we would come home to a perfectly made bed for years; this also became a pet peeve of mine as I got older.
Although I disliked cleaning on Saturdays I remember feeling really satisfied when it was all done. The spaces in the house looked pristine and organized with everything in its place. I grew up in this environment and applied it throughout my life in the places I live in and work. In addition, I had to accept that it wasn’t just my upbringing but there was something hard wired in me to that liked things to be organized and to have their place. The other thing I had to accept and make peace with is that not everyone is this way. Everyone around me has a unique make-up and to them a messy house may not be an issue for them. I had to accept that I cannot change the make-up of others and if they liked they’re things to be all over the place then I had to be okay with it. What WAS in my power, was to voice my preferences and feelings and the rest would be up to them. If I was going to have growth in this area, I wanted to find ways to live with the reality that I was a bit more organized than most.
So, if I was going to be less reactive to other people’s disorganization or mess then I would have to find the silver lining as well. The silver lining was this; I wouldn’t have to use my time to clean up after them so I would have more time to do the things I wanted to do. In addition, maybe over-time they would develop their own new habits based on how I kept my personal spaces. Not only this but in a conversation, I could learn more about the people around me and discuss ways to help them to be more organized, (level 5 of the ELI-Index), thus, turning it into a learning opportunity for all. If they refuse to have a conversation, that would be ok too, and in this circumstance, I can find power within myself to find the mind set to be caring and compassionate (energy level 4 of the ELI-index) and have a peaceful mindset about it.
Now when there is clutter, I breathe, I look at it and if I get triggered, I am fully aware of the why. I am also aware of the choice I have to not allow it to ruin my day because we are all unique. With this awareness I can now make a conscious choice, (more on that in the next post) and not react negatively.
You see awareness comes with everything we do from the moment we wake up. It is the choices we make with food, the type of conversations we have with people, decisions we make about work and relationships etc. Once we know why something triggers us it empowers our awareness. Awareness is the first step to finding clarity and peace. If you want to discuss a topic that triggers you, schedule your appointment today to find more clarity and steps to move forward to a more balanced approach.
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you gain awareness:
- Ask yourself why something triggers you?
- What is another way to look at the situation?
- How does your reaction make you feel?
- If you could choose to react differently, what would you choose? why? and how does it benefit you?
- How does that benefit those around you?
- How does choosing to not make any changes serve you?
- What does your response to the situation say about you as a person?
- Understanding why you initially react a certain way and discovering why is a foundation to who you are at the core. It gives you permission to be who you are but also gives you the power to choose if that is who you still want to be or if you want to make changes.
I hope you found this helpful as my mission is to shine light on helping you discover who you are and finding the spark to your own light within you.
